Happy Mother's Day!

To all you moms, Happy Mother's Day! I mean, wow. Hats off to you guys... seriously. I cannot fathom it. The thought of newborns makes my palms sweaty.

Anyway, I'm blessed to have one phenomenal mama who raised 6 kids, a gazillion pets, and kept my Dad in line...all while balancing a nursing/ nursing instructor career. Just to give you a little background on what she had to put up with, I once put my little brother in the dryer and turned it on. Just to see what would happen. Then there's the time my other brother got angry with me and picked up the nearest object to launch at my head.. which happened to be a padlock.. I ducked and the padlock slammed into my other brother's head. Several stitches later, he vowed to burn my barbies. Trips to the ER were pretty common for the Blums.

My sister and I used to fight like our shared room was an MMA ring. My wonderful big brother used to roll us all up in blankets and sit on us screaming "BURRITO!" and pass gas. On road trips my brothers always used to steal my cabbage patch dolls and crush their faces in. It takes several minutes for the plastic to find it's original hideous shape, and I tended to shriek the entire time. Saran wrap on toilets, toothpaste on door handles, fake spiders in closets, stink bombs, habanero pepper hidden inside bubblicious gum... the pranks and stunts were endless. Perhaps the most legendary Blum kids tale is the one involving a precious bottle of Tinkerbell perfume.

Notice the color

My dearest brothers decided to dump the foul smelling perfume (what did I know? I thought I was so grown up!) down the drain and replaced it with pee. Yeap. They peed in my perfume bottle. By the time I caught a whiff, it was far to late. I was wearing Eau de Urine. So thanks Mom, for not sending us to boarding school or Siberia or something.

Mom

Thanks to Mom, our kickboxing days are behind us, woohoo!

My sister is also an incredible mom. She has two gorgeous girls and has the most nurturing soul of anyone I've ever met. She and my mom are two ladies you DO NOT want to piss off, and I love that. All good moms have that quality.

Motherhood expert and her two sweet girls

Today is a day we honor all mothers, and it's important that we recognize not all motherly figures are even related to us in anyway. Some people are raised by an aunt, grandma, or even an older sister. Some people are among the very luckiest to walk to planet and they have a fabulous mom and an additional "Other Mother." This Other Mother is an incredible blessing, and I count myself among the lucky to have one. My dance teacher for over a decade, my mother's BFF, Ms. Beverly. I was taught and disciplined by this woman during the years I needed to most teaching and disciplining. I vacationed with Ms Beverly and even lived with her for two summers during college. I send her a card every year to remind her that she is family. A few years ago when I thought I'd die of a broken heart, Ms Beverly and my Mom conspired to drag me to Las Vegas to lift my spirits. It worked. Did I mention they forced me to go to a Chippendale's show?